exploring

"You should come sit over here," she said, patting the bed.  She lives in a beautiful, well-kept studio apartment, and the bed was on the opposite side of the room from the couch, where I sat.  I stood up and walked over, sat where she had gestured.

She looked at me for a moment, then commented, "You said you were going to take off your top."

"Oh.  I did, yes."  I sat there for a moment, and then I grabbed my top and pulled it off quickly, dropped it in a pile on the arm of the couch.  I looked up at her, waiting to see what would come next.

I feel this jerkiness and lack of flow as I describe these events.  And I felt that in the moment, too, although it didn't feel as awkward as it now sounds.  I knew I wanted her, so I was propelled forward by my desire, and by the fact that there was no reason not to.  But it was kind of new for me.  Unfamiliar.  I'd never had this kind of rapid meeting and ending up in bed before.  And I'm still pretty inexperienced with women.  And I haven't explored more than Gerard and I's fairly tame version of dominance and submission in years-- but here I was with an experienced dominatrix who wanted to have her way with me.

She stood in front of me and smiled broadly, but not at me.  It was more private, as if she had her own personal joke that I wasn't in on, as if I wouldn't be able to understand it if she told me what it was anyway.  She pushed me back onto the bed, and then climbed on top of me so that she was straddling my waist.  She pinned my wrists over my head and, from her overhead position, regarded me thoughtfully.

She pulled my arms down to my sides then, and pinned my wrists under her knees.  That was the moment when I was reminded that she is experienced and skilled-- I have been pinned down in painful ways more times than I can remember, but this particular method of restraint was entirely comfortable.  I didn't even wonder if I would eventually lose feeling in my wrists, because I knew I wouldn't.

It's hard to tell the story in a linear way after that, because I really let go and just experienced it.  I know that she went quickly to my breasts, grabbing them and pinching my nipples, enjoying my sighs and yelps.  I know that she put her hands on my neck, and I know that she tapped my cheek with that in-between level of force that isn't quite a slap but would be with just a little more energy in it.  I remember gazing up at her face, admiring her until she told me that it wasn't polite to stare.

One of my favorite moments was the one when she moved to my side and grabbed me by my left elbow and left knee, then easily lifted me up on to her lap before flipping me over to my stomach.  Strength and confidence-- they just ooze out of her.  So hot.  By then my jeans were off, and she unclasped my bra once I was face-down, and later pulled my panties off too.  She ran her hands over my back, but paid most attention to my bottom, spanking and grabbing and generally exploring.

It was all teasing, really.  Just stimulating me ever so slightly, physically and mentally... she kept laughing, again like it was all a joke that I wasn't in on.  At one point she leaned down as if to kiss me, and then stopped just before our lips met.  I had that sweet feeling of yearning, where I wanted to feel her lips on mine so badly and yet was afraid to initiate.  Eventually I tried it ever so slightly... she let me kiss her lightly before pulling away and then coming close again.  She allowed the slightest little kisses.  I enjoyed the feeling of being deprived, of being subject to her limits, and of yearning and vulnerability.

She draped my beaded necklace into my mouth, and I felt the silliness of its presence there, but I soaked it up... like a very gentle type of erotic embarrassment.  I heard her doing something over my head-- she had me pinned in a different way now, such that I couldn't see anything that was going on.  It wasn't until much later, after she let me up, that I saw that she was wearing black latex gloves.  They were really striking in appearance.  With them on her hands, she began to explore my body more intimately.  She never exactly penetrated me, but she poked around quite a bit, making me feel objectified and incredibly aroused.

Oh, and she never let me come.  Just teasing.  The whole time.

Later, she told me that she'd been very close to getting her strap-on out of the closet.  We've decided to meet soon to discuss limits and desires.  Gerard says he's happy to be able to give me an adventure that fits into his comfort zone... we've also had a lot more sex since that night than we've had in quite some time.  So this seems to be working well for everyone.  I absolutely can't wait to see her again and explore some more.  How lucky am I to have a skilled, sexy, attractive dominant woman be into me, and a loving boyfriend who welcomes me to go out and explore?