"Be a good little redhead," said Gerard a few hours ago, right before he left. He's going to be gone for ten days, off on a business trip. His business might be finally taking off. We don't know for sure yet, but there are lots of positive signs. And so he's gone off to see if he can seal the deal.
Things are picking up in my world too. It seems just about definite that I will soon be off of unemployment, and doing the kind of work that I love again, while still continuing the new initiatives that I've tried to start over the last year. And, this fall I'm going to be going back to school. It will be part-time as well, so I can continue the work stuff too. I could actually be busy again! That seems like a dream come true.
While we're not quite to the point where we can afford to buy new clothes or go out for nice dinners yet, Gerard and I are starting to feel much more optimistic about our respective career and financial positions. It's a relief! And it's also nice to know that we've been able to support each other through all of this.
When I started this blog, I felt that I was very in touch with the imperfections of love and long term relationships. These days, I can acknowledge the existence of those imperfections-- but they feel less weighty. Gerard and I rarely fight anymore. I used to use a green highlighter to mark on my calendar each day when we had a big argument, and I don't even remember where I put that highlighter anymore. Sure, we get annoyed with each other still. We occasionally speak harshly with each other still. But we haven't escalated into an actual *fight* in weeks and weeks.
We still go through periods where we definitely don't have enough sex. Both of us are still really frustrated by the change in the way we relate to each other sexually (seriously, it was once our absolute strongest area!). But we also go through periods where we have a very satisfying amount of sex, and a very satisfying quality of sex too. It seems to vacillate, although I haven't noticed a pattern around which it does that. I am trying to find relaxation and acceptance around this issue.
So there's not much to report, in terms of the theme and anonymity-assuring parameters that I set for this blog. I just wanted to check in and let you all know that we're still here. Even though I don't write very often, I'm still happy to have my connection to the interwebs and all the interesting people I've become acquainted with here over the years.
Here's what I want to believe: that one day in the near future Gerard and I will both be very busy and successful in our work. We will no longer be confined to the tiny space together for so much of our days, and our finances will no longer confine us to very little beyond making dinner at home and watching TV. Then life will become more interesting. We'll be able to play harder, and we'll be looking to connect to each other more in sexual ways. We'll be able to be more adventurous in day-to-day life, which leads to more excitement and more stories to tell.
Or we'll skip a bunch of the exciting going-out stuff and instead our next big news will be about baby-having. I'd be okay with that too. But it's still in the future ahead, not happening immediately.
Anyway, the point is that we're still here and we're still happy. And hoping to be happier soon. Thanks for reading.